Dayo

Abinye was an old forgotten issue, I starved myself of a lot of things, angry that i didn’t listen to my instincts. I could feel something was off with Abinye, yet I didn’t care to think deeply.

I couldn’t stop thinking What if?

What if we had spent a year together?

What if we dated for years?

What if we had gotten married?

What if we had had children?

What would I have done?? The more i thought of it, the angrier I got… What sort of rubbish mistake did i make? The sex with him was not the greatest and he didn’t buy me as enough gifts as chief?? So what the heck kept me glued to that deadbeat?

Months had passed and i had to forgive myself, I heard from Mrs Esther, that Abinye relocated abroad immediately that video sufficed.. Everyone had moved on from it and I needed to, too. It is indeed true that Revenge doesn’t bring lasting solace… I went out to my favourite bar and ordered for a drink… Whiling away time, Reading through various blogs on social media. I was appalled by people’s lack of empathy, there seemed to be a competition as to who was the most vicious, apparently been kind and having empathy was uncool… Talk about the craziness in the world

I dropped my phone, tired of it all. I decided to enjoy the view; scanning the area, watching couples talk to themselves, I adjusted my sitting position so my back could rest on the sofa.

One hot chocolate walked past me, he was wearing tracks and a grey Tshirt. I watched him until he sat down… He was on his phone… He made a few calls, then ordered for a bottle of beer. We were sitting adjacent to each other… As he drank and watched the football highlights on television, I adjusted my glasses so I could properly scan him…

He had this raw cuteness to him, on my first assessment of him, I thought: IT person, probably talks too much, average dick, might have small sense, sucks pussy and has good waist movement…… I needed to see his feet and hands. A person’s feet and hands are the first things I look out for when I meet them. How do I get this guy to talk to me? (ladies watch and learn)

I was ready to hunt!

I thought about sending a drink over, but most men have this ego play which makes it seem weird accepting gifts from a girl they don’t know…. I got up and walked over to him… Hi My name is Ada, You look like a waec exam paper, I’d do you for 2 hours, 45minutes with a 10 minute break in between for hydration – I said, stretching my hands… Dayo burst into laughter almost choking on his drink… I touched his back, rubbing it.. “Ohh sorry, sorry, my bad” – smiling inwardly

When he had calmed down, he smiled, “I’m Dayo” – he said…. “Can i join you?” – i asked….. “Yea sure” – he said.
I grabbed my drink and sat down next to him… “That was funny, you know, you almost killed me” – He said

I told him I was sorry, smiling at him.. “So tell me about you Ada?” – He asked “hmmm, well I’m a writer and I’m currently working on a book” – i responded… “Really, what type is it?” – He asked…. “yeah!! A phonebook and its missing your number”
We both laughed this time, I wanted him to be comfortable around me.. “I’m dayo, IT expert (i was right), I live very close to this mall. I come here to chill when I’m bored” – He said…… “okay Dayo without my number, what are your plans for the evening?” – I asked…. “nothing really, you? ” – He replied….. “well, I have option A, B, C but no D” – I said, I was smiling. “No D?” – he asked, not getting it the first time “Yeaaa, No Deee” – I repeated, emphasising on the D.. We were both laughing…. “I like you” – he said…. I smiled, blushing like a little girl…. Ladies and Gentlemen, My Net had caught the fish…

I & dayo sat for a while gisting about life, family and general societal issues.
He was a good sport & he was quite intelligent. He had a girlfriend; Bisola but they were having issues (I felt this was a regular chant of men when they meet a new girl)
I almost wanted to tell him Oga, I’m not interested in dating you. I just want to have sex.
We ordered for a couple of drinks & while we were drinking, A lady walked towards us. Dayo immediately becomes uncomfortable
“so this is why you said you are not at home right?” – She yelled
Everyone turned around, looking at us. I looked at Dayo. “Didn’t you see my calls??” – She kept yelling..
“Dayo, Is this Bisola?” – I asked? He shook his head, signifying yes. “Hi, Bisola” I said, extending my hand.
She didn’t take it, instead she kept yelling at Dayo. I was mad, how can a lady be so uncouth, so unsophisticated… “Bisola, Sit the fuck down” – Dayo yelled, using every inch of his voice, Everyone turned at the same time looking at us, it dawned on her, she was embarrassing herself. She sat down. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you alright?? This is why I stay away from you.. Dayo was yelling as he spoke. You could see he was tired.
I held his hand, trying to calm him down, Bisola boiled… She was way tinier than me, else she would have lounged at me.. Dayo looked at me, i put my hand to my chest asking him to calm down… He stopped yelling and started drinking… “Hi Bisola” I said again, not bothering whether she would answer or not.. She rolled her eyes, I continued eitherways
“what you did now is very bad and a man might never forgive you for it.. This is a public place, whatever issues, you and dayo have should be talked about inside. He was just telling me about you before you got here. If i was him, i would leave you here. You need to listen to me.. If you are not a man’s peace, he will leave you, it doesn’t matter how many years he puts up with your rubbish, it would eventually tire him out. I’m nothing to dayo, we are just friends having a drink. Just imagine after your embarrassment, i pamper him, you would have succeeded in turning us from nothing to something

She calmed down, She knew i was right. She was obviously very in love with this guy, because i could see tears welling in her eyes. ” Dayo, Please can you excuse us for a bit” – I asked…. He stood up and went inside the main bar area, I took out my handkerchief and handed it to her, She burst out crying, I have been there before, feeling of helplessness, of loss of control. I knew exactly what she was feeling and i knew what to say. “I am sorry Bisola that you have to go through this, but for future purposes, i want you to learn. Don’t love a man, understand him. Love will drive you to extreme points. Stop trying to control his actions, you actually can’t.” – I said as I moved closer to her, i held her, she cried. ” its okay bisola, stop crying. Would you agree with me, that you can never stop Dayo from cheating if he wants to, he could stop over at a girl’s place before getting to work, have sex and even do same before coming back to you.. So why in God’s name are you stressing yourself acting like you can do anything to change or control that? A man who wants to cheat on you will do it, you just have to ensure its not you that pushed him to that point. Worry about yourself darling, ask yourself, am i putting enough in this relationship, am i taking care of this man enough, am i respecting him enough? Worry about yourself. Love is sacrificial. Bothering yourself about what he is doing, who he is with, what he does with his spare time is actually down right insane, you will die before your time. Look at your relationship like a two way street, when you sweep and clean your side very well, A man is a baby, he will want to crossover to you and you can share with him, all your essence and beauty. everyday he will come back to you, because your own side is always clean, peaceful and relaxing. He will even mimic you by keeping his part clean too… But if you leave your own part, jump to his own part and you start telling him how dirty he is, telling him how to sweep. He will get tired of you and leave you and you will end up going back to a pile of dirt and your heart shattered… Worry about yourself and your partner will mimic you”

She stopped crying, looking at me “I am nothing to Dayo, Nothing at all… We are just having drinks, watching football. We were just talking about you before you walked in” – I said “Its just that I love him so much, if i ask him where he is or why he is late, he would say I’m nagging him, am i not supposed to ask him?” – she was crying as she talked, She was hurt.. “you are supposed to, but what if, when he’s back, you jump and hug him like you used to do when you were little and you see your dad coming from work.. Hug him, kiss him.. Don’t you think he would start explaining immediately that babe o, this and that happened o, which is why I’m late”

See babe, if you catch him cheating self, disappear from his life, because you’ve brought so much peace to him, he would look for you… Don’t be yelling like a mad woman.
If you see him with a girl, run up to him, like ooohh my darling, I’ve missed you, kiss him like you haven’t seen in 10 years.. Then say “I don’t think i want to hang out here, when you finish with your friend, I’ll be wearing that beautiful thong you like with my legs spread open, waiting for you at home, I love you papi… Then walk away, he will almost die, that date will end.. He will come back to you with his head bent down.. Like a dog.. She smiled… (I was getting across) “go and apologise to him okay, then take him home, make it up to him, maybe stay longer while giving him head, then apologise when you are through again. Try and stay calm. Nothing is ever that serious” – i said
I picked up my purse, i was about to leave. She got up, hugged me, i was surprised. I whispered in her ears “Be strong, you’ve got this” then I left the bar after settling my bill.
In my car, I was proud of myself, I might be batshit crazy, but i never ruin homes… It has never been my style.