Hello Ada, your stories have really helped on some cold lonely nights, I got married when I was 20. I am from a very traditional family and was never allowed to go out with or talk to men.
I had to get married; it was my dad’s decision. I saw my future husband on my engagement day. I didn’t like him, but I couldn’t do anything about it. His father was friends with my father.
We moved to the Enugu as my husband lives there. That’s when things turned horrible. He doesn’t talk to me, doesn’t spend time with me, and forces me to have sex with him. I have no idea how anyone can have sex when their partner is crying, like I will be so uncomfortable but he wouldn’t stop, no foreplay at all.
There is also physical abuse because of dowry he paid, always insulting me that he bought me. He never lets me see my friends. The physical abuse reached a point where he tried to kill me. That’s when I ran away to PHC. I applied for a divorce and started working and living on my own. (I was also working in the Enugu)
He came back to PHC after about 7 months and asked for a second chance. I didn’t want to live in PHC with a divorce tag as my family members were all ridiculing me. I came back to the Enugu after my parents pretty much forced me.
He changed a lot. But the sex is still a nightmare. Everyone forced me to have a baby, that he will change when we have a child. I thought our relationship was fine; but after giving birth, everything has gone back to being horrible. He doesn’t want to talk to me, no spending time with me and the sex is awful! It’s always about his satisfaction which makes me feel like cheating on him. And now, I actively want to get divorced.
My problem is that he is trying to change for me. But I don’t like his personality. I am confused about my decision to leave him.
I am going to be 27 next month. Is it okay to compromise on sex for the rest of my life?
please advise me?
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