Abel

During my university days, there was this guy that lived in the same off-campus hostel with me. Quiet, six packs, all the ladies favourite. You would see girls rolling their waist as they walk past him. Their good morning greeting to him almost outdoing each other.
He was a fitness junkie and he had the body to prove it, the kind of man that would say hello and you will just go “Awwww” and you’ll faint from overexcitement. It didn’t help matters that he was dark skinned and very good looking and every morning when we came out to fetch water from the hostel tap, you could see his schlong dangling in the shorts he was wearing.
It was a thing of pride to even talk with him, the “levels” back then for girls was who knew the most about him. He was friendly and that made the girls to start coming out every morning with their new canvas and leggings with tank tops to join the early morning exercises he does with some of the guys in the hostel “Did you say we should jump like this” – you would hear our Big breasted, flat assed mazaquinne (mazaquinne is a slang for busybody) doing this lame ass jump just so she can make her big boobs shake.
I knew he was out of my league so I didn’t even bother, these are the ones their fathers send everything to, money every month, well furnished rooms with air conditioning, television sets, Persian rugs, gas cookers, pots that they flew in London, they use “glass” plates flown in from USA to eat. How would I compete for “Mr. fine ass” attention with my small radio, the 4,000 my father would squeeze out to send to me, I was expected to make it last for at least two months, plastic carpet floor, kerosene stove and my every day Tower pots. The only foreign thing I had in my room was one stainless pot my mum said my dad brought from India back when the going was good. It burned everything you cooked in it, including water so I stopped using it….

My first encounter with, let’s call him Abel, was at the tap. He came in his usual fashion pleading with the ladies to let him fetch from the tap before everyone else, this puts him just directly after me, so he turned to me and he said “Hey babe, please I’m late for class, let me just fetch pleaseee” – his hands put together like he was in a prayer, pleading with me to let him use the tap.
I swear my breath stopped and everything was in slow-motion , it was like those movie scenes where the guy talks to the girl and she drifts off to some fantasy land and they are now married and have a ton of children. All I could hear was “Ada I have always loved you, you are so beautiful, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you”. His “Thank you, you are the best” brought me out of my fantasy land.
I swear down, that thank you, you are the best he said to ONLY me and not to the other girls at the tap almost put me in the line of fire, if the other girls had guns, they would have shot me. RIP ADA. 😂😂 After that day, if I saw him, I would greet him like we were long lost friends, I didn’t have canvas and I could not come to “pretend” that I want to exercise so I just maintained our morning tap greetings . I had only two high heels and both was already looking like something my grandma passed down to me. Girls would wear the shortest things, just because they knew he’d be there, see somebody bending down to rinse a bucket five times “hanti, the bucket is clean ooo, stop before you wash the colour away 🙄🙄” If Abel was having sex with these girls, I was not in the privilege of knowing and frankly I didn’t care, all the girls wanted him and he was more than enough to go round.

The next time, I would meet Abel, I was coming down the stairs and he was going up to meet his best friend in our hostel then, I swear I wasn’t expecting it, it gave me no warning whatsoever, I was trying to walk sexily by dropping my legs on each staircase hard so my boobs could bounce too when a loud fart came of my ass, it was the type that had that piiiiiiiiiii* sound at the end. I flat lined metaphorically, I prayed for the ground to open and swallow me, Abel just burst out laughing and walked past me without saying anything.
Haaa, mogbe, my future husband, I have use mess to pursue my future husband, I waited a while and then I ran back upstairs to cry and mourn the loss of my marriage with 5 children and 12 grandchildren to a man that didn’t even know me?
I avoided him at all costs, till I left that hostel. .