There’s a certain kind of loneliness, the heart crushing kind when you fall for someone that isn’t yours. Every touch, smell, wetness gripping hard cock feels intense.You keep wondering as they pound away on your insides what you can do, to make them yours. The thought flowing through your mind as you cling on them, holding back that cum because if you reach that point, it means The End.
“I love you” – you’d almost say, but your inner trauma reminds you what saying the L word would mean for this situationship.
“Don’t say it, you’ll sound desperate, enjoy the sex, its just sex, isn’t it…” – it will nag at you, breaking every iota of emotion you formed for him.
“but it isn’t just sex, I want this person, I want them a lot, I want him a lot of the time” – you’d say to yourself, trying to convince the trauma engine that you deserved this.
“No, you don’t, you are just dick whipped” – it will say, strongly.
“Hmmm, you are sweet, I love fucking you, babe this pussy’s good” – his words dragging you out of the quagmire you’ve made your bed in.
“But do you fucking love me though?” – you’d ask…so quietly, that it’d feel like you said it in your heart.
Long kisses on your neck, licks on your face, a sudden flick on your nipples and you are jolted to the present.
“I want you to cum, I want to make you cum, I want to bury my face between your legs” – He says.
But all I did was cry…
“Hey, how are you, my name is lade” – He said, standing across the table from me, hands folded across his chest, dark skinned, unsmiling… “I was told you wanted to see me”
“ermm, errmmm, yes” – I said, forgetting the reason I sent for him.
I scattered the desk searching for something that would remind me why I asked to see this man standing in front of me, i couldn’t remember, no matter how much I tried.
“Hello” – He said, it was more a question than a greeting. I could see he was in a hurry or maybe he was just irritated, but i kept searching…
“why the fuck can’t I remember what I needed him for?”
“you requested for someone to come help you fix your system and I had already dropped directions on a post it for you on your system” – He said, picking up a post it note behind a stack of papers on my desk.
“Ohh, I remember now, that’s why I asked for him” – I thought to myself.
“yes” – I replied. “oh yes, I tried all the steps and I am still experiencing the lag” – I responded.
“OK, let’s see how we can solve that now, may I? – He asked.
“Sure” – I replied, as he dragged a chair opposite me and turned my computer to face him.
“so let’s see why you have this lag” – He said to no one in particular, his fingers clicking away on the keypad. My eyes fixated on him, wondering how I would get this black, very dark skinned man to do something, anything with me.
Since my breakup, I have noticed that I suffer from an attention deficit, I cannot attribute it to being cheated on and then trashed about the place, i cannot tell you what it is that makes me feel that way but i am not me. My old self.
I watched keenly, from his long slender fingers, to his very light pink lips, to his shirt as it fits on his body and his eyes as they dart from side to side. It was as if, for me, this was my first time seeing a man.
I felt new, like a naive young virgin who was sent out into the world with no guide on how to deal with men. I kept staring like a lost puppy, wondering why I was staring but not stopping.
“so, the issue is…….” – he said a lot of things but I didn’t hear anything.
I just nodded in the affirmative. My head voraciously daydreaming.
“What is happening to me?? Whyy the hell do i feel this way, Get up Ada, take a walk to the bathroom, splash some water on your face… Do it now” – I yelled at myself.
I got up and headed to the bathroom, my heart beating so fast, I felt it would explode, the soft music playing in the bathroom speakers.
“calm down, breathe, what the hell is going on” – I kept saying.
“ok, let’s go over this one more time” – I said to myself.
“you are new here, you are not going to have any office romance, you are going to do your job, close at 5pm and get the fuck out of dodge and nobody will be wiser, we will not be exchanging kisses with anyone” – I spoke to all my alter egos and I could swear they were listening, I even imagined some of them taking notes…
“Do you have a girlfriend” – I found myself saying the moment I stepped out of the bathroom.
It escaped my mouth before I could stop speaking.
I put my hand over my mouth, my face bewildered as his was.
“errmmm” he began saying as the shock turned into realisation for him ” I have someone in my”
“I am so sorry, you do not need to answer that, I have no idea why I asked that, I am so so sorry” – I said.
“It’s fine Miss Ada” – he said, a weird smile on his face.
Gosh he was so beautiful.
“I have a girlfriend” – He said, shaking his head as if he was trying to convince himself.
“I’m happy for you” – I responded.
“What the fuck Ada, who the hell says, I’m happy for you, that’s so fake, see how you are disgracing us, I’m happy for you ko, I’m happy for you no” – the evil witch inside me said, I was being made fun of, by my own self…
“did I say something funny” – Lade asked.
“No” – I said, looking for something, anything to do, to keep me from thinking about this man in front of me.
“ok thats it, I’m done, no more lags” – he said as he got up from the chair.
It felt so abrupt, I needed him to sit down and talk to me or not even say anything at all.
“wow, thanks, I should buy you lunch as a thank you” – I said, again, my inner trauma ticking faster now, i was on the edge.
“ermm sure” – He said even though he sounded unsure.
“can i have your number then” I asked handing him my phone as he typed his number in.
I could tell he didn’t like where this was heading and he wanted out of it but I couldn’t stop myself, it was as if I had no iota of dignity or pride anymore.
The weekend that followed this God awful desperate encounter, I invited Lade to have lunch with me at the Sunrise Chinese Restaurant in Ikeja. I dressed up in a blue criss-cross dress and I let my titties dangle. It felt more like a date than it was 2 colleagues having lunch.
He was there before me and when I walked in, I couldn’t tell if he was impressed or not. My need for attention and validation reeked, I wanted him and I wanted him to want me back… 😞😞😞
“Hey babe” – he said, getting up to give me a hug.
“you look different” – He said.
“different good or different bad” – I asked.
“the good kind” – He said, smiling.
I smiled back.
I signalled to a waiter and ordered for a prawns hot plate and special Chinese fried rice. ” you’ll like it” – I said to him.
When the food arrived, we talked for a while mostly about education and the Nigerian situation until he asked me.
“you know, I’ve been wondering why you asked me if I had a girlfriend”.
“Because I am trying to fuck you” – something said.
I swear it wasn’t me, i didn’t say it but somehow it came from my lips…
I turned around to find out who said that because I was so sure, it wasn’t me.
“what did who say” – I replied.
“you said you wanted to fuck me” – Lade said, his eyes dimmed like he was trying to search for the truth out of me.
I refused to look at him, we ate the remainder of the food in awkward silence, with him stealing glances at me and laughing every 3 minutes.
When we finished eating, I ordered for an uber, shy to even look at his face (very unlike me, i know)
“don’t worry, I’ll drop you off at home” – Lade said, laughing again as he got into his car and drove me home.
“aren’t you going to invite me in?” – he asked. I nodded, the cat got my tongue the moment “someone or something” said its because I want to fuck you.
He stepped into my house and sad on the bean bag chair, I was going to head into the kitchen to get some water when Lade dragged me towards him and started kissing me, it felt like I was smothered by the kisses, my body quivering from want and lust. He held my head, kissing me deeply, hands stroking my dangling titties, the other pressed against the back of my head like we were in love.
He kissed my soul, dragging all my wildness out with each tongue flick…
“fuck me, don’t be nice when you do it, fuck me” – I begged as I got up and raised my dress up. I placed one leg on the bed, shifted my thong pantie to one side and showed him my wet wet pussy.
“yes ma’am” – he responded before putting on a condom and pressing my back on the bed….
The sex was wild, it was as if, we had both planned for it. The dick hitting my clit repeatedly to solicit wetness, the hand dragging spit to plaster on my already wet pussy.. Lade was nasty as fuck… And he wasn’t afraid to let me see it.
Slow wet kisses at the nape of my neck, the soft gasps for air as hard cock slithered in and out of my vagina. I was filled with cock, I was being fucked. Then the ass smacking every time I try to run away from dick, this man was fucking every inch of me, kissing my back as he laid on top of me, pounding my Dripping wet pussy while telling me how hot I was.
I couldn’t think, my body was hell bent on taking all of him, every sweetness my insides could get, it took.
“Awwww gawd damn” – he moaned as he pressed harder on my back, holding my waist and dragging my ass back and forth on his dick. I turned around to look at him and he leaned forward and kissed me again.
“fuckkkkk” – he yelled, his dick sliding in and out of me faster than I could breathe, I wanted him, my pussy opened up to take everything he was giving.
There was this intensity, this raw animalistic need to take more than we gave, him with my ass firmly placed on his thighs holding me down on his dick so his entire length was covered in my wetness.
“damn, you are so hot” – he said, outstretching one hand to grab my soft jiggly titties…
We were going to cum soon. I didn’t want that! I held on for as long as I could. My mind drifted, “after this sex, what next?”. I couldn’t stop that nagging feeling, this is not me. I barely even know this man so why do I feel this way? I realised that there’s a certain kind of loneliness, the heart crushing kind when you fall for someone that isn’t yours. Every touch, smell, wetness gripping hard cock feels intense.
You keep wondering as they pound away on your insides what you can do, to make them yours. The thought flowing through your mind as you cling on to them, holding back that cum because if you reach that point, it means The End.
“I love you” – I almost said, but my inner trauma reminded me what saying the L word would mean for this situationship.
“Don’t say it, you’ll sound desperate, enjoy the sex, its just sex, isn’t it…” – it nagged at me, breaking every iota of emotion I formed for him.
“but it isn’t just sex, I want this person, I want them a lot, I want him a lot of the time” – I said to yourself, trying to convince the trauma engine that I deserved this.
“No, you don’t, you are just dick whipped” – it replied, strongly.
“Hmmm, you are sweet, I love fucking you, babe this pussy’s good” – his words dragged me out of the quagmire I made my bed in.
“But do you fucking love me though?” – I asked…so quietly, that it felt like I said it in my heart.
Long kisses on my neck, licks on my face, a sudden flick on my nipples and I was jolted to the present.
“I want you to cum, I want to make you cum, I want to bury my face between your legs” – He says.
But all I did was cry, squealed actually, as our bodies shuddered from the orgasm.
We both cleaned up, he left my house and we haven’t spoken since then.